The Beginning

Hi, my name is Ann.

You know, I never really looked much into that phrase until recently. It seemed so simple, giving someone a name to place with the face. Just something for them to say to get your attention, or to write in a birthday card, or to put on a tombstone the day you die.

Names, as much as I have always heard that they do, never held much meaning to me beyond just a jumble of letters that happened to sound good. It was just a label, and my label was one I was none too pleased with.

My full name is AnnMarie. AnnMarie! How old fashioned can you get with that? I mean, don't get me wrong, I am somewhat old fashioned as you'll find as I delve deeper into this blog. But I always thought I would be better suited with a more ethnic name like Carmen or old fashioned names like Evelyn, Victoria, Jeanette, or Eleanor. But not AnnMarie.

I don't really look like an AnnMarie. Most people say that they would place the name AnnMarie with a blonde, green eyed faerie of a girl, short and petite. And anyone who knows me knows that I am no where close to fitting that description. I am tall, 5'9" to be exact. I have a stocky frame, reminiscent of a little French horse. I have small hands, small feet, long legs, long torso. My eyes are big and brown, my nose is a little too small for my taste, pale olive skin, Cupid's bow lips on the top and bottom. I have long, chocolate brown hair and highlights, and it's curly because I decided to perm it over the winter. My features are a mixture of Native American, Mexican, and Italian, with strong Anglo-Saxon notes.

In other words, I'm a mutt. There is a long list of the nationalities I can claim:

Mexican
Spanish
Native American
British
Welsh
German
Polish
Scottish
Irish
Italian
Sicilian
Swedish
Norwegian

And I can't even name them all. Like, for serious. I can't even remember the whole list. You'd think by having so diverse a gene pool I'd look a little more ethnically neutral, especially since I have all of that White in me. But nope. I almost look like a Mexican vampire, my skin is so pale.

AnnMarie is the only name I can claim, save my last name. My parents decided to leave out a middle name for whatever reason, so I have to pack a lot of personality into one name. Which is a hard job, believe me. I hate to think of what it's gonna be like if I make it in the music business. I can't imagine having AnnMarie as a stage name; most people with not so glamorous names use their middle names as a stage name, but I got cheated out of that option. Ah well. I'll roll with the punches and cross that bridge when it slaps me in the face.

I will admit, I am not new to blogging. I started writing another blog called The Chronicles of Aminathius about two years ago, and I meant for it to be just a for fun thing writing from the perspective of a character with a witty, sarcastic demeanor. Which I guess was what I was back then. I was alternative, angsty, and everything a teenager should be.

Now, at nineteen (or almost nineteen), I feel like my life has changed. The world still seems dark, but I am trying to find the light. And in doing so, I have discovered me. Hence why names mean so much more to me now. In saying "Hello, my name is", you are giving someone entrance into your soul, a first look at what is to come. You are placing yourself in their head, giving them something new to think about. In a way, you gain a certain level of power over them. And now when I say "Hello, my name is Ann", it is a much bigger deal, the beginning of a connection between two human beings.

I hope through this blog I can learn something about myself, and I hope that, just maybe, you can learn a little something about yourself, too.