These past three weeks since I broke off my engagement, I have discovered something about myself: I am impatient. And I don't mean just kind of impatient, I mean really impatient.
See, I have been told by mutual friends of my ex fiance's that he just needs time, that they are helping him get clean and that once he starts getting his life on track, he will start missing me a lot (apparently he's already started to head down that road), and he will decide to contact me.
With that newfound hope, not only has it gotten much easier to cope with being single again, but I find myself itching with anticipation, fidgeting, waiting for something to happen. And, I tell you what, I am driving myself absolutely crazy.
But, perhaps this is what I need. I have never been the most patient person, and when it is something I really, really want, it makes it so hard to slow things down and just... wait.
Waiting sucks. Bottom line.
Have you ever heard that saying "Good things come to those who wait"? Such a true, if not aggravating, statement. When you exercise patience and let things come to you, good things happen. Take for example, roses.
Yeah yeah, I know I have a sick obsession with roses, but bear with me here. You plant a little bulb in the ground. You cover it with soil, you water it, maybe sprinkle some fertilizer over the top, and you wait. You wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.
Soon, after a long time, the first tender shoots start to grow. You water it every day, making sure that there are no bugs eating it away to nothing. And you wait some more. A long time. And then you finally have a full bush. You keep watering it, you keep fertilizing and killing bugs... and one day, you have a full rosebush blooming with big roses. You have something beautiful, a reward for your waiting.
At that moment, it was worth it right? Of course it was. You waited and something great was bourne from your patience. Kinda cool, isn't it?
And that is the lesson I am trying to teach myself. Good things come to those who wait. And maybe, just maybe, if I am patient and hope for the best, I will get the one I love back.
